DoortoDoor Salelady
by Aelis Aisling
Summary: Some poor soul comes to the Bayville Brotherhood Boarding House. You know you want to pity her.


_Follows_ The Library.

XMENXMENXMEN

Three knocks sounded at the door in quick succession. The Brotherhood merely sat there, Blob changing the channel. There were three more knocks.

"Fine," Toad muttered, jumping off the back of the couch. He landed on the floor, rebounded to hit the wall next to the doorframe, finally landing in a crouch before the door. He got to his feet and opened it.

"Hi there," said an eerily chipper lady. In one hand was a bag labeled "Makeup" and the other held a small, folded table. "May I speak to the lady or make-up wearer of the house?"

He was about to respond with a big glob of green spit in her face, but then thought otherwise. "Hold on, let me go get her."

He leapt up the stairs and to the left. He opened the third door.

"Hey, you!" he said, jumping over to the pile of sheets and blankets on the floor. He began to rummage through them, finally finding an arm. This he grabbed and tried to extract more, though he quickly lost his grip and the arm disappeared into the depths. "There's someone here to see you!"

There was a sudden rise in the blankets and they slid off. He flinched as the girl underneath grabbed his shoulders and growled, "Who?"

"I don't know!" he answered. "She asked for you!"

She shoved him away and dashed out and down the stairs. He followed at a safe distance, retreating into the living room.

"Who was it?" Pietro asked.

"Avon lady" was the response.

"How'd you get rid of her?" Freddy asked.

"I sent Wanda's new friend to investigate."

"You know that will only lead to trouble," Lance said, glancing over at Todd.

"Mm-hmm," Toad said dismissively.

Meanwhile, the saleslady was standing stock-still, barely breathing as the girl circled her. She had heard strange stories about this house, but nothing about being sniffed by a child. Perhaps this wasn't the place to make her first sale.

"Who sent you?" the girl snarled, stopping at last to stand in the doorway.

"I'm here representing Pretty Pretty Princess Limited." Her hands shook as she unfolded the table between them. She began to unload various products from the bag.

"What do they want with me?" X23 began picking up various containers and reading the labels.

"They want you to try their newest line of products!" The lady fixed a grin to her face. "Shall we start with the lipstick?" A confused expression responded. "Now, for your complexion, may I suggest chocolate mocha?"

X23 stared at the offered tube for a moment before taking it. She turned it around a few times in her hands before pulling on both ends. The stuff inside was recessed completely. She took a sniff. Unsatisfied, she licked it quickly, then scraped off some with her teeth. Immediately she spat it out and glared at the lady.

"Let's try something else," the lady said, carefully taking the tube and top. She made a mental note to scrape the end off. "Let's try some nail polish." Her hand hovered over "wine" for a moment before choosing "lilac."

X23 took this and unscrewed the top carefully, but quickly jammed the brush back in. She glanced up at the lady's plastered smile before opening it again.

"Go on," the lady urged, "put it on your fingernails." She glanced down to the other's bare feet. "Or toenails." The big blob of purple hanging at the end of the bristles was stabbed onto X23's thumbnail. "Now spread it around." The brush spread the blob not only over the nail, but the top of that half of the finger. For a moment she just stared at it, perplexed. Then she ran a finger over it, leaving grooves and getting that finger coated as well. "Let's move on to something else."

Back in the living room, the boys were starting to get curious. This was the longest length of time a salesperson had ever spent at the door. It was even longer than that time the crazy religion spreaders had tried to explain to Wanda why she should convert.

"I'll be right back," Pietro said. Soon he was at the front door. "Hey, champ." He clapped a hand to X23's back. "How's it going?"

She turned, taking the brush for the mascara away from her nose as she did so. Barely visible were tiny, evenly spaced black marks left from the brush.

"Nice moustache!" he said, grabbing the brush. "Here, let me finish that up for you." In no time at all, she had semi-thick sideburns ending around her jaw. "You're looking great." To the lady he said, "This should be good, thanks. How much?"

"Just take it," she replied, shoving the stuff back into her bag. "It's...a free sample." With that, she turned to leave.

XMENXMENXMEN

A few hours later, Wanda returned to find the residents of the boarding house sitting in front of the tv.

"Why are they walking on the ground?" X23 was asking. "They're underwater!"

"Because," Freddy began, then gave up. The screen flashed and people doing stupid stunts came into view. "Is this better?"

Pietro caught Wanda's eye and ran out to meet her. "I had no control over what happened. I tried to give the lady an escape route."

With a sigh, she went into the room and took a seat in an open space. She tried her hardest not to stare at the new looks adopted by her house mates. Of course, it didn't escape her notice that there are some shades of blue that just didn't look good on Todd.

XMENXMENXMEN

_Yeah, I know next to nothing about make-up. What I do know? It doesn't taste good, mascara does work for fake moustaches, and I'm too lazy to deal with it._


End file.
